And hearts break even when all around them there is joy; even their own joy.
This beautiful life is overflowing with joy, but carries with it a profound sadness; the continuation of life, unfulfilled.
After many years of trying, including blood tests, invasive procedures, medication in many forms to be taken in many ways, scans, tests, more scans, injections, hormone therapy, and more scans we are left broken. Broken in heart, in hope, and in strength.
There is a visceral sadness to be found in watching the people you love grow their families, while you are unable. The children we love and will watch growing and developing into beautiful people are pure sunshine, but we are always shaded by our own hope, unable to fully bask.
While our purpose may very well be opening our hearts and homes to adoption, we grieve for the child that has not chosen us.
Life carries on unaffected by the overwhelming fog of hopelessness and defeat that blows in on the breeze some days, blanketing our home in despair. It passes. It always passes.
However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.
While the future remains unwritten, there will always be hope. Peppered with anguish, but hope nonetheless.